The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains: “By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement ‘until further notice.’ The intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and demand an unbreakable union between them.” (CCC, no. 1646; See also CCC, nos. 1647-1648, 2384)
Marriage is good if both spouses are faithful and true to their marital vows. Marriage is good if husband and wife mutually and exclusively love each other till death. Marriage is good if both spouses attend to each other’s physical, emotional, moral and spiritual needs as well as the needs of their children. Marriage is good if spouses fulfill their conjugal and family obligations. Marriage is good if spouses help each other attain their mutual sanctification, and contribute jointly as a couple and as a family to the glory of God.
The Church is against divorce because it is contrary to the will of God for marriage, namely, the intimate and lasting partnership of love and life between a man and a woman, joined together in the sacrament of marriage, celebrated in the Church. The Church is against divorce because it introduces disorder into the family and society. The Church is against divorce because it brings grave harm to the deserted spouse and children.
Presuming that a Catholic is in favor of enactment of divorce into law, how should we enlighten him/her so that he/she continues to proclaim and live out the sanctity and indissolubility of Catholic marriage? We may ask him/her the following questions: How many divorces may spouses have? How many families may divorces destroy? How many children and spouses may divorces cause to suffer? How many homes may divorces break? Will divorce prevent infidelity, domestic violence, oppression or exploitation of women and children?
Does the Church’s prohibition of divorce mean that she does not care for children and women, who are in most cases the victims of violence, oppression, exploitation or abandonment by men?
While the Church continues to proclaim the truth and beauty of Catholic marriage, she is aware of many difficult situations and conditions that many couples and families find themselves into. Thus, the Church allows or permits physical and legal separation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart.” (CCC, no. 1649) In this case, even though the common life is broken off, the marriage remains valid. Consequently, separated spouses cannot contract a new marriage.
There are cases, however, in which the crisis in marriage goes back to the fact that one spouse or both were not eligible at the time of wedding or did not fully consent to the marriage. In these and other conditions, the marriage is invalid. After a careful examination by the competent Church’s tribunal, the Church competent authorities can declare that the marriage never existed from the very beginning. The Church does not dissolve marriage but can pronounce nullity of marriage, that is, the declaration that the contracted marriage was null and void from the very beginning. (See CCC, nos. 1628-16290)
Legal separation which the Church permits is not divorce. The Church declaration of nullity is not divorce.
What are these situations which may permit physical, legal separation of spouses?
1. When spouses harm each other
2. When children suffer from intimidation, violence, humiliation, exploitation and lack of involvement from their parents.
Not every difficulty or problem can be a ground for separation of spouses. Faced with grave difficulties, trials and enormous problems experienced by spouses and families, separation should not be the first and only option but reconciliation.
God bless you all!
Fr. Joey D. Gonzaga
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